By Janice G Raymond
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Extra resources for A Passion for Friends: Toward a Philosophy of Female Affection
One woman expressed the difference in the following manner. I have always been aware of loving women more deeply than men— girlfriends in childhood, friends in high school and college, and I attended woman’s college for this reason. I instinctively identified with my mother when my parents fought. With great secrecy and guilt, I had an intensely close and physically affectionate relationship with my best friend through high school. Not until I was discovered in another relationship of this nature at age eighteen and punished for my attraction to women did I realize the price a woman pays for loving women.
She is her Self. She is an original woman, who belongs to her Self, who is neither copied, reproduced, nor translated from man’s image of her. She is, in the now obsolete meaning of original, a rare woman. It is one of the primary premises of this book that friendship begins with the affinity a woman has with her vital Self. A woman’s Self is her original and most enduring friend. 11 Female friendship begins with the companionship of the Self. ” Until the Self is another friend, however, women can easily lose their Selves in the company of others.
A woman’s Self is her original and most enduring friend. 11 Female friendship begins with the companionship of the Self. ” Until the Self is another friend, however, women can easily lose their Selves in the company of others. I do not wish to romanticize the subject of female friendship. In a woman-hating society, female friendship has been tabooed to the extent that there are women who hate their original Selves and other women or who, at best, are indifferent to women. The obstacles to female friendship have taken solid root in their lives, and it is they who believe and act out the fiction that women never have been and never can be friends.
A Passion for Friends: Toward a Philosophy of Female Affection by Janice G Raymond